Why You Didn’t Like … The Crow (2024)

I was really hoping the 2024 reboot of The Crow would be a winner, but press F to pay respects. The film fundamentally misunderstands what makes a revenge story tick, spending geologically-relevant levels of time on backstory we already know, only to rob us of a satisfying payoff. From systemic pacing issues that kill the first hour to the frustrating misuse of great actors, this film fails all on its own. It had a perfect blueprint for success in the original graphic novel and instead chose to reinvent the wheel as a square. Read More …

Why You Liked … Geostorm

I fully admit that enjoying Geostorm should be a crime. Trapped on a plane, I braced myself for a silly disaster flick full of space lasers and a paper-thin villain—and it has all of that. But this review argues that the film’s ridiculous plot is just a cover for its real story: a surprisingly heartfelt drama about two brothers (played by Gerard Butler and Jim Sturgess) reforging their broken family bonds. It’s a movie about fixing relationships, not just saving the world, which is why I believe this B-movie has an A-grade heart. Read More …

Why You Ran Out of Whelms for … Thunderbolts*

Feeling whelmed by the MCU lately? Not overwhelmed, not underwhelmed… just… whelmed. Thunderbolts was meant to be the cure: a gritty, street-level story about tarnished heroes. We were promised steak, but we got another giant swirl of cinematic candy floss—all air and sugary spectacle, leaving you with nothing but ennui.

This film had the perfect ingredients for a grounded character study, but instead, it trips over the same creative fatigue that plagues the franchise. In this post, I analyse how a film with so much potential manages to squander absolutely all of it. Read More …

Why You Liked … M3GAN 2.0

M3GAN 2.0 is a criminally underappreciated gem and a far better film than its predecessor. I argue it’s not a horror movie, but a whip-smart action-comedy using synth-pop charm to deliver sharp critiques on AI and corporate greed. It cleverly learns from its robot ancestors, like KITT and Johnny 5, to become a self-aware spectacle with a surprisingly deep message about found family and morality. Packed with sublime performances and laugh-out-loud moments, it’s a fun machine that offers a much-needed fresh take on our AI-driven future. It’s the Friday night movie you didn’t know you needed. Read More …

Why You Like … Really Dope Names

Ever wondered why some Alien flicks are good as gold while others are just a bit shit? I reckon I’ve cracked the code, and it’s got sweet FA to do with the actual monster.

It’s all in the names of the ships. From the corporate dread of the Nostromo to the… well, the less said about the prequels the better. In this post, I break down this litmus test that separates the true cyberpunk classics from the monster-closet flicks. It’s a proper deep dive. Read More …

Why You Like … The Loveable Lunkhead

Some B-movies shouldn’t work, yet they do, often thanks to one specific type of hero. I call them the “Loveable Lunkhead”: the chaotic good icon who does the right thing in the absolute worst way. Using Guy Pearce in Lockout, the mismatched leaders in Heads of State, and Dave Bautista in Army of the Dead as case studies, I break down why we’re so drawn to these charmingly flawed characters. It’s my ode to the heroes with surprising depth and the delightful fun of a perfect B-movie. Read More …

Why You Liked … The Electric State

The critics gave The Electric State a 5.9 and called it a soulless flop. My take? They missed the point so hard they must have been watching the movie through one of those daydreaming VR rigs.

In my latest video, I argue this supposed “failure” is actually a razor-sharp look at our current AI-slop apocalypse and asks the eternal question: “Are we the baddies?” We’ll talk about a mail-bot built to fail, two soldiers who said “Fuck that” to war, and an ending that finally understands who should be doing the bleeding for progress. It’s good, actually. Read More …

Why You Liked … Ballerina

With John Wick ready for retirement (his knees have voted), Ballerina arrives not as a simple spinoff, but as a necessary passing of the torch. Ana de Armas’s Eve brings the franchise back to the personal, gritty stakes that made it a hit, shedding the convoluted lore of later chapters. She fights with a clever viciousness that’s all her own, driven by a furious desire to get IN, not out. This is a triumphant return to what makes this world great: getting both mad and even. Read More …

Why You Liked … The Accountant 2

Forget awkward holiday dinners. The Wolff brothers’ idea of family bonding involves dismantling a human trafficking ring, and I am here for it.

In my deep dive into The Accountant 2, I break down why this sequel is less about the “whodunnit” and more about the brilliant, action-packed story of brotherhood. I’ll explore how Christian and Braxton’s unique dynamic works, why their fight scenes are a form of therapy, and how the film argues that for some, love is a deliberate, difficult calculation. It’s a surprisingly heartwarming take on murder. Read More …

Why You Liked … Nimona

Nimona (2023) almost died when Disney shuttered Blue Sky Studios at 70% completion, but Netflix’s resurrection gave us something extraordinary. Chloë Grace Moretz delivers vocal shapeshifting mastery as the titular anarchic hero, while Riz Ahmed anchors perfectly as troubled knight Ballister. The film’s genius lies in using disarming pink aesthetics to explore othering, identity, and radical acceptance without preaching. Through a gut-punch scene showing how fear is taught, Nimona becomes a parable for LGBTQ+ struggles and societal displacement. It’s ultimately about friendship as shield against a world that misunderstands you—a pink-horned reminder that the most transformative stories fight to exist. Read More …